Unwittingly Cruel

Thursday, in Freeport Texas, a six year old girl was sworn in as an Honorary Police Officer by Police Chief Ray Garivey. The Freeport Police Department shared the story on its Facebook page. News organizations began reporting on the story as well. I caught the momentum of it on Friday. 

Freeport PD

While many people found this story heartwarming, I found the story troubling. Though I know the people involved had only good intentions, the words she was asked to repeat during the ceremony were ill chosen.

You see, Abigail Rose Arias has advanced cancer of the kidneys (Wilms’ Tumor also known as nephroblastoma.) It has metastasized to her lungs. There are no more treatments that could potentially stop its progression. She is dying.

The story has a “make a wish” charm with a young girl telling the Police Chief during their first meeting in December that she wanted to be a police officer. That prompted the chief to to make her dream happen. He and his department put together a police officer’s swearing-in ceremony with all the trimmings: a custom-fitted uniform and the eating of the stereotypical policeman’s favorite treat, a donut.

The highlight of the event happened, with her right-hand raised, as an emotional chief asked her to repeat the words he read to her. I could feel how the knowledge that this little girl’s life would end far too soon affected him, but I failed to see the words she obligatorily spoke as appropriate for this young girl’s circumstances.

You can see it here .

She spoke these words:

"I now, and forever, promise, to keep fighting the bad guys, until all of my cancer is gone."

I glanced at the television in disbelief saying out loud, “Did he really just ask her say that? Now that little girl is going to feel like it is her fault that her mommy and daddy are sad. In the end, she may even think she didn’t fight hard enough.”

It is nice there was a special day created especially for her, but the words chosen by the adult(s) should have been chosen more carefully. Telling someone, especially a 6 year old child, that they can beat cancer is unwittingly cruel wrapped in a promise that if a person just fights hard enough, they can beat cancer. Saying such words to a terminally ill victim that has no other treatments available to them might make the person feel like they have power over cancer and give them a renewed energy to press on, but we who have terminal cancer know it is a lie. Cancer cannot be wished away or fought away no matter how determined that someone is to stay alive.

This story will not have a happy ending. Another beautiful person will die too soon.